tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86539324096047109052024-03-12T17:29:38.190-07:00Bill Will Set You FreeNovella of a child.rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-29174543884132180692013-04-14T19:05:00.001-07:002013-04-14T19:06:02.024-07:00Ask Him.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">I. Rest Easy</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">His
shoes are clean<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
what ever it is <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">That
I find myself walking over<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Does
not resemble coal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">II.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;"> <b>Public Service Announcement<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Do
not join the United States Army.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">III.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;"> <b>Public Service Announcement<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Do
Not Join The United States Army.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">IV. Brother</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">“I’m
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">V. Marc<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Ask
David.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">VI. PTSD<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Ask
David.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">VII. Marc has PTSD</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Ask
David.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">We
can’t. But, I did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">VIII. New Years Eve<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">We
showed up yesterday,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
Jesus was in the room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">I
missed His entrance,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">but
He saw me-<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">He
put the felted womb over my head<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
asked me if I was warm,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
did I feel comfortable?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">IX. Dad came home<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">You
didn’t answer the phone, so I cried.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">You
asked me if he hit me, but it doesn’t matter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">X. Stuck with the Animus<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">I
am the old man you never got to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">“When
I was your age there were shapes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">XI. Korea<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">He
got hit by a car while crossing the street. She died in her sleep with her
daughters around her, having been bathed and soothed. He got hit by a bus while
crossing the street going to dinner. She sank to the bottom of the pool with
her lover; there are bruises on her elbows. He got hit by a tree driving his
car while he was drunk, there were four other people. He got hit by a bus going
to dinner. They got frustrated and high, unaware. He was in my lap & told
me not to tell. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">A
year before, she died in pool, just like the Pretty Girl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">XII.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;"> <b>PTSD has Marc<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Ask
David.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">XIII. Open for the
Public<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">They
did his make-up, rouged up and feminine. There are bruises under his eyes. The
purple tarnished cells follow the breadth of his bare cheekbones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">XIV. PTSD<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Ask
David.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">XV. Wise Cracks<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">We
showed up yesterday,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
Jesus was in the room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">I
missed His entrance,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">but
He saw me-<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">He
put the felted womb over my head<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
asked me if I was warm,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
did I feel comfortable?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">XVI. “I’m not, ask
David.”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">He
held our heads too tight,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">He
was drunk<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
I cried.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
they watched me cry,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
he held my head too tight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">He
was drunk,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">&
he told me to,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">“Ask
David.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext 1.5pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Jane.
(A Response)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-44639007812174497102013-04-09T17:29:00.003-07:002013-04-09T17:29:42.626-07:00Italian with the Works
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In this Public Place,<o:p></o:p></div>
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We gave you Dante <o:p></o:p></div>
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& Leonardo.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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& for payment I ask of you<o:p></o:p></div>
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To let me dream of Roma,<o:p></o:p></div>
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& arrive in Dallas<o:p></o:p></div>
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For what could be the last year of my life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-85349627553088273602013-04-09T17:29:00.001-07:002013-04-09T17:29:07.643-07:00Table Tops
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<br />
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Once I guided your hand<o:p></o:p></div>
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to my breast.<o:p></o:p></div>
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& you caressed me<o:p></o:p></div>
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in a salut to our patron saint<o:p></o:p></div>
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Praying for my paints,<o:p></o:p></div>
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& bouts of coitus.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>I need canvas and
wine.</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-38727364029745441422013-04-09T17:28:00.003-07:002013-04-09T17:28:48.515-07:00Byproduct of Kenya
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<br />
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I want you to recite it through your nose.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Proclaimed and let forth from your brow,<o:p></o:p></div>
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In a single breath-<o:p></o:p></div>
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With the dust of dissonance <o:p></o:p></div>
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& Old brick.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-59686244017002239062013-04-09T17:28:00.001-07:002013-04-09T17:28:19.297-07:00Rest Easy
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<br />
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His shoes are clean<o:p></o:p></div>
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& what ever it is <o:p></o:p></div>
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That I find myself walking over<o:p></o:p></div>
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Does not resemble coal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-90534984381449604072013-03-30T11:50:00.001-07:002013-03-30T11:50:03.831-07:00Beehive Eloquence
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Aphrodite confined fire,<o:p></o:p></div>
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in membranes & delicate clothing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-8944831288137416792013-03-29T16:42:00.001-07:002013-03-29T16:42:06.290-07:00**WORK IN PROGRESS**
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Man, the
imperfect librarian.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Man, the retired
salesman,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">With neither
money nor clothes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">When it rains,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is better to
sit with the salamanders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The streets were
fogging over & every building looked like a man, a form a figure that stood
tall, & strong, & looking for a service. A Salesman who could discern neither
right nor his left stood on somebody else’s porch because their light was on
& he needed to stand in the light in order to digest a meal he hadn’t eaten
yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It has become
tiresome for him to look in mirrors. His Ragged face only looks compelling when
he’s laughing, perhaps at himself, and when the reflection is seldom there. The
books he reads appear to grow shorter and the lights in his room go out when he
coughs. Maybe he does it to be funny, but every time he opens the door, he claps
three times in jubilation & then he will weep and no one would see. He
swore that because his words would not work that his breath is worth its weight
in gold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Would the
remnants of what you can remember of your childhood fairy tales inform this
place? Because there is no name for that now, both for this space and those
words, it escapes me now and the salesman, too, who stretches by the shores and
has canvased for a new belief in shadows.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">There is a small
shadow, or rather an echo for the sake of textual variety, and it is causing a
disruption. It is shown on the wall at night when the children sleep, it could
be a spire or a birch branch that is influenced by the wind… It wouldn’t
matter, and it doesn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Might the rhymes
mean more when you have aged as a salesman? They do- and when you loose your
ability to hear, it will be only those echoing limericks that stay between your
ears, only them that you will see. Without one, there is no ‘All’ and
therefore, there will be no others. You will not see, nor smell, and you could
not feel, no matter how hard you try. You have grown frail and your humbled
ears have failed you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">He aged here, in
the silence of the subway, he aged there & his ears grew low to his shoulders.
When it was cold outside, he would hunch over & because he couldn’t hear
himself he would talk in broken Chinese, which he did not know, and he would
cry. This wasn’t a sick man, and the turning of the days knew it. This was not
a pathetic man, just He who wishes to petition time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">It all is rooted
somewhere, all disorientation established from having once held oriented. By
virtue of this flawed design, ‘We’ must be defined by exception. It shows
itself only as agitation in the deaf, though audible, poets who refuse to walk
the street except at night when there is fog. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">There is a man, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">There.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Seen in
everything <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">& hard to
see<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">when the weather
is warm,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">& the ground
is cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">There is a body,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">There.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">A figure, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Strong&
seeking service.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">And
when the days are in such climactic discord, ‘There’ can only mean the
destination of the song coming from the Salesman’s lips. He sits in the coffee
shop. He sits at a table alone, his coat draped around his shoulders and his
hands in his pockets. Patrons were moving, passing through the doorway, which
would stick & stay open. As he shed the coat & it fell to the floor, he
walked from one side of the room to the other, turned back down & returned
to put on the scarf that was left on the table.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Your
place of work becomes your social space, like the apartment he had when he was
in college. There are significantly less beer cans around, but there remain the
place settings of the patrons on tables where they sit, seldom alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">He
will quit one day, and sit there. Once paid for his time, but now loitering
& he watches the tacky coats of the other people flap, unzipped, in the
wind, which is cold. He couldn’t put a name to the make or material of which
any of these coats were made, but their colors are distracting and attractive.
His eyes will meet others as he catches the last of everyone’s’ conversations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> “It’s not my fault,” and his legs
shift in resistance to the impulse to jump on the table, resisting an acute
urge to embrace an energy he has found in pointless frustration, & he yells
silently, “You are all talking very loud.” Though, even in his own head, his
breath trails below the seat on which he sits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">He
stares at you because you look the way he should, & the order he intended
to take out of turn ended up being yours. “I’m just waiting for a ride to
work,” he lies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
ceilings are etched to mock the crumby tin façade from a more prosperous time
in coffee house history. His shoes are dirty, and his coat has gone missing.
There is a copper clock with a single high voltage spotlight and while he
watches the clock, unable to tell time, a blonde boy watches him. Outside, a
woman in a wheelchair roles her head back and forth wearing a leopard print fur
coat, lead by her son. He must have once been like our salesman, with a sweet
smile and clothes that could fall off by a gust of wind. It would be rude to
ask the status of his pockets that hang low as he guides the woman dressed as a
distinguished feline. His pockets, though, shake with the shifting of nickels
and dimes. It would be rude, but maybe he doesn’t know her and the Salesman
never left his job. Maybe I would set someone free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">We’re
really just…………………. Ugly. Walking through ageless sleep, pale faces and a
cowboys posture, slightly slanted and always looking sideways. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">We’ve
got pale skin & rat hands, blushing by virtue of our complexion- stretched
over fat we can’t come to terms with and muscle. Eyes that sad like the aged
mind of the salesman whose ears reach his shoulders. He used to hold his lover
there while they laid in bed………………………… The salesman whose ears reached his
shoulders, which he hunched over and up when it was cold- You can see the
purple bruises of dream hours and wretched fights, It takes so much effort to
look in the mirror. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me walk away from you,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
& I will draw a map.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will tell you it is tiresome<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
& in the same way I hope to chart,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to long, to fog, my mirror-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It can only be covered by heat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This will be chronicled by One.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He who has a fly in his eye,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
& can orient.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Though- This salesman can not. He
cannot discern his right, nor his left, and his feet carry him in circles
around blessed cement, along the wall of some downtown alley. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are bricks inside the window
he can look into from the loading dock of the coffee shop, at which he sits
alone and watches the people with their coats wet from the rain. There is brick
inside that building in some jointed south-facing building façade. There is
something elegant and charming about it. It’s a law office, the office of an
attorney of law, and with our ink markings we glare with cigarettes and subtle
attempts to ‘whoo’ the other ink marked kinds of kids. The salesman is lost in
this exchange, unless he has been drinking at which point the words run too
fluid and he pisses whiskey out in the downtown alley, on the south side of
town near the coffee shop with the law office and the oddly jointed
south-facing building façade inside the window, viewable from the loading dock.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
After seven hundred years of
cookies and stale bread, let me dream of Rome and arrive in California for what
could be my last year of life. The Mediterranean Sea holds the heart of exodus
in modern day- Men drowning as they run away from Spring, doomed to return
again to nothing, where everything is welcomed. Be mine- dehumanized and naked
in a public place. I am the prophet and I will only speak French. I hope you
tell this story beautifully, something with borrowed music and seldom seen
light. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
We met there in a city neither of
us knew. I look insulted because we speak different languages and you were
drunk. There are decades between us and I am compelled to touch the bridge of
your nose and confess, “I can not discern my right nor my left.” And I touch the
bridge of your nose so I can draw it on the napkin you used and left, and again
I touch your nose so I can draw you, so I can orient myself to the page.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Jesus walked in the room, I had canvased
for him. We were petitioning time & every passer-by thinks we are sick men,
tired and lonely. You missed his entrance, but he saw you and he saw me seeing
him see you. We three looked at one another, and you swelled by the will of
Genesis in a womb you didn’t know you had and we all smelled of over ripen
tangerines.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Jesus walked in the room; I no longer work for
him. He walked up to me as you watched,
and I confessed, “My words are worth their weight in gold.” You watched as he
walked to me and audibly you mumbled the mantra of the urban youth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I do not believe.” Though, in the
end, it is the potentiality of this encounter, the fate of this potential
encounter, epic eroticism with no communion, no copulation & ironic bouts
of coitus. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
We met there in that bar, in the
city having just walked the same sidewalk where I gawked at you. We were both
drunk and I refused to speak to you, but I touched you and Jesus walked in. We
were swollen and you were pregnant and I wanted to sell you something. <span style="font-size: 26.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-80987922184129781772013-03-23T15:17:00.000-07:002013-03-23T15:17:12.249-07:00An Expansion of Ideas <span style="font-size: x-large;">"</span><br />
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<br />
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After seven hundred years of
cookies and stale bread, let me dream of Rome and arrive in California for what
could be my last year of life. The Mediterranean Sea holds the heart of exodus
in modern day- Men drowning as they run away from Spring, doomed to return
again to nothing, where everything is welcomed. Be mine- dehumanized and naked
in a public place. I am the prophet and I will only speak French. I hope you
tell this story beautifully, something with borrowed music and seldom seen
light. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We met there in a city neither of
us knew. I look insulted because we speak different languages and you were
drunk. There are decades between us and I am compelled to touch the bridge of
your nose and confess, “I can not discern my right nor my left.” And I touch the
bridge of your nose so I can draw it on the napkin you used and left, and again
I touch your nose so I can draw you, so I can orient myself to the page.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jesus walked in the room, I
canvased for him. We are petitioning time, though every passer-by thinks we are
sick men, tired and lonely. You missed his entrance, but he saw you and he saw
me. We three looked at one another, and you swelled by the will of Genesis in a
womb you didn’t know you had and we all smell of over ripen tangerines.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jesus walked in the room; I no longer work for
him. He walked up to me as you watched,
and I confessed, “My words are worth their weight in gold.” You watched as he
walked to me and audibly you mumbled the mantra of the urban youth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“I do not believe.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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We met there in that bar, in the
city having just walked the same sidewalk where I gawked at you. We were both
drunk and I refused to speak to you, but I touched you and Jesus walked in. We
were swollen and you were pregnant and I wanted to sell you something. <span style="font-size: 26.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">"</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">** Written for Sarah's photo book**</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-81228518770975658982013-03-23T15:14:00.001-07:002013-03-23T15:14:02.711-07:00Mont Royal
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Smooth, <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-55403217469682154862013-03-19T15:31:00.001-07:002013-03-19T15:31:35.248-07:00By Virtue of this Short Pregnancy
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Again, she will ask,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“By what alchemy<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have we again swelled by Genesis,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
& over ripened tangerines. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
___________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-53385731559879023292013-02-04T16:58:00.003-08:002013-02-04T16:58:15.903-08:00A moment that changed your life?- An Essay Response
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This is not a love story, nor it is
an inspiration. There should be no pity present and further questions
concerning the following conclusion are only an argument in my favor. There is
no way, within reason, for me to figure or quantify a single choice made by me
that caused some substantial personal growth. There are places I ended up that
consumed, and respectfully, informed who, what and where I am today- a trip to
the South of Tanzania, a solo trip at age thirteen to Israel, going to college,
etc. Instead, I want to open our definition of ‘decision’, and this request to
reflect on “a time when…” said decision was made, should to be expanded to
allow for the grandiose of life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When one reflects on moments of
change during which the foundation of identity is moved, or eroded, or perhaps
filled in for the first, second, or third time- there is a tendency to notice
larger themes. These themes are, so to speak, items of consistency, seemingly
omnipresent at moments of choice and consequential affect. Let me repeat, this
is not a love story, but in moments of choice, choosing in favor of such the
gorgeous idea of love, whimsical in nature, does not always seem to the
rational ‘Me’ to be in good judgment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In my life, there have been pivotal
moments between reason and directions of the heart. In the large picture,
choosing to embrace love means to embrace perhaps initial pain, or allowing for
the eventual degradation of the light-hearted, child-like self. Especially
significant as I grow older and as I exist in a time where maturity, as to say
the development of solid rationale, is expected. To mature is to not devalue
love, nor is maturity something to avoid. Love as an idea is mature, with red
lipstick and roses. Though in moments of choice necessary to live and define
your life, following your heart is often blind, and terrifying, and childish,
looked down upon by superiors who refuse to pass over the absence of reason.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It is not one moment that stands as
some climactic point in a life, but rather an accumulation of little moments-
minute, acute, and diminutive instances that stand in the forefront of
importance for, realistically, the relative short-term. The temporality of
importance, here, is what changes a life- my life, specifically. As moments
dwindle in their beauty and transition into memory, I am only ever left with
the emotional aftermath, a new foundation instituted in the shadow of my
choices- most of which are made instinctually and on essential whim. The most
profound of these residual emotions is love, and in the shadow of a choice
made, this is the most sustaining. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the same way that I could not
describe to you a single pivotal moment of choice, deciding whether or not a
choice was made in a moment of good or bad judgment seems to be of little
importance. This, again, joins this gorgeous temporality that ultimately makes
all and any decisions vital. Perhaps it is my choice to focus on the residual
love and passion left in the wake of my movements and evident, unconscious
cognitive displays of preference, which stands as the ultimate choice that has
defined me as I am.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Let me, for the sake of argument,
look at the choice of mine to love my body. This is not an exercise in
examining the insecurities of a once adolescent girl; rather it is the
exploration of the choice and moment of realization that a physical body <i>is</i> important for its position and occupation
as a vestibule of all functions- biological, intellectual, and creative, which
I associate with the spiritual and organic aspects of production, thought and
embodiment. There were, in the early years, no moments of self-loathing, but
all of a sudden there was an all-encompassing breadth of acceptance in me for
myself and all that was a production of these hands, present in every breath I
took. This love was not hubris elitism, but passionate drive, which allowed me
to throw energy into things that were real. This realization allowed me to
embrace the role of an eccentric, a title taken and given by my Grandfather,
the original maverick. This love informed further choices, all which left me
with continued avenues of realization, further exploration of passion and all
appliances, and gave riddles meant to push me towards new all-encompassing
moments of grandeur and thought. These consequential choices infinitesimal, all
the same.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The organic nature of this
realization, begot from a choice, a moment, is the foundational inspiration for
the work I do. The organic process through which things rise from mans’ hands-
that organic place from which creative impulses gestate and grow into fruition,
that organic place from which love is extended into ideas and connectivity-
this is the place from which originality and inspiration come. Inspiration,
itself, to in-spire: to breath in, this is an organic process and to be in
touch with such a cycle driven by choice and love and breath, is one of the
most generous and beautiful abilities found in artists and intellectuals alike.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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I will continue to revel in this
organic process by which the choice to love and be loved, the choice to embrace
the body for what it is and is capable of doing, and the moments of good or bad
judgment will continue to be. This is the cycle, and this is why it would be
insufficient to choose a single moment, as it is all temporary and organic and ever
so important. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-27198347502125417552013-01-30T15:56:00.001-08:002013-01-30T16:14:41.765-08:00Sixty DegreesThere is a man,<br />
There.<br />
Seen in everything,<br />
& hard to see<br />
When the weather is warm,<br />
& the ground is cold.<br />
<br />
There is a body,<br />
There.<br />
A figure-<br />
Strong & seeking service.rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-18086879298648550162013-01-30T15:54:00.001-08:002013-01-30T15:59:22.042-08:00StareLet me walk away from you,<br />
& I will draw a map.<br />
<br />
I will tell you it is tiresome,<br />
& in the same way I hope to chart,<br />
I long to fog my mirror-<br />
To cover it with gentle breadth.<br />
<br />
This will be chronicled by one,<br />
He who has a fly in his eye,<br />
& can orientrachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-61511351136298261562013-01-28T11:20:00.000-08:002013-02-05T12:39:48.032-08:00AnimusIt had snowed,<br />
& it was night time.<br />
We did not know it yet,<br />
but this was, or is, or could be-<br />
Revisited.<br />
<br />
Tho- I am alone, & Above & I am moving<br />
without my legs below me.<br />
The hill is marked by dirt,<br />
& tall grasses untended to.<br />
<br />
I move, there-<br />
with two young boys sitting at the base of my neck.<br />
They do not see me, nor I them,<br />
& they do not feel the cold.<br />
<br />
& I see it, then-<br />
There-<br />
& I know, now, what to say.<br />
<br />
"When I was your age, there were shapes."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
*Written following the dream I had. The night of 12/21/2012rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-64520375491268549632013-01-28T11:17:00.001-08:002013-02-01T07:42:00.143-08:00New Years EveWe showed up yesterday,<br />
& Jesus was in the room.<br />
I missed his entrance,<br />
but he saw me-<br />
He put the felted womb over my head<br />
& asked me if I was warm,<br />
& did I feel comfortable?<br />
<br />rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-46463660863269079542013-01-28T11:15:00.001-08:002013-01-28T11:16:05.727-08:00An Introduction<br />
Man, the imperfect librarian.<br />
Man, the retired salesman,<br />
with neither money nor clothes.<br />
<br />
When it rains,<br />
It is better to sit with the salamanders.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
January 27, 2013rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-55083536846317299872012-12-04T07:10:00.001-08:002012-12-11T16:08:19.022-08:00Sorry for the Broken Mirror<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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With something lit there in my threshold,<o:p></o:p></div>
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(LIGHT)<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the hands of the Man-<o:p></o:p></div>
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Brought about by the beat Afro-SUN.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sweet SON,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Dear prophetic construction in the bowels of my womb-<o:p></o:p></div>
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REMAIN THERE-<o:p></o:p></div>
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and the fruited brim of His gracious wine.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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From skin- HEAT<o:p></o:p></div>
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(SWEAT)<o:p></o:p></div>
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For- brought by the breeze,<o:p></o:p></div>
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The final motion-<o:p></o:p></div>
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Called upon by the humble weight of THAT hand,<o:p></o:p></div>
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THIS mallet-<o:p></o:p></div>
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and tender aggression.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And, if by the window you are using in the barren light,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
clouded by His punctuation-<o:p></o:p></div>
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From lips,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Brought to the lips- milky digestion.<o:p></o:p></div>
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(INTENTION)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sweet SON,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Bright deified daylight-<o:p></o:p></div>
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“BE CAREFUL”<o:p></o:p></div>
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As these eyes mock the paid preacher who prayed for MY
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In malicious irony,<o:p></o:p></div>
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From the bed where you lay-<o:p></o:p></div>
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“BE CAREFUL”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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By that doorway,<o:p></o:p></div>
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begot a Man.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A nimble soapbox,<o:p></o:p></div>
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To preach a new science-<o:p></o:p></div>
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A base methodology by which you examine my wonton breast.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Merely takes, by
the negated game of give and-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From the depths of my breached movement,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do not ask, of you SON-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Simply because this is not about being Woman,<o:p></o:p></div>
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And you- My delicate man on the edge,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being this desolate body of some charming, curdled body of
WAR.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-40553417577794019352012-12-04T07:09:00.001-08:002012-12-05T06:54:46.846-08:00We Didn't Mean to Spray the Car<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Orion rested where my eyes stopped,<o:p></o:p></div>
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By the street-<o:p></o:p></div>
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Saying the words,<o:p></o:p></div>
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“This is mine.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is mine<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is mine-<o:p></o:p></div>
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Looking for the words,<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Printed on the side of the street,<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-3156530927993769812012-12-04T07:08:00.002-08:002012-12-05T06:54:34.849-08:00Bienvenue<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Cheers from the avenue,</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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“BIENVENUE”<o:p></o:p></div>
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There are stop like that we run through,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Reciting the mantra, “BE HERE.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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BE HERE NOW<o:p></o:p></div>
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With vigor-<o:p></o:p></div>
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And rigid lines set in sort soap stone,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Carved by the phallic old man with his pompous hat askew.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ne’er prepared.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The allegory of Man, Wife, Child. Child, and War.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This two-a-day dose of invention-<o:p></o:p></div>
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Where my simple shoulders make you my pimp,<o:p></o:p></div>
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and this face-<o:p></o:p></div>
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Pockmarked and beautiful becomes Woman,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Taken atop the trapeze stand.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And residing holy, here-<o:p></o:p></div>
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In this haus of tool,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rotting wood and broken lipstick stains,<o:p></o:p></div>
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This agent of agency,<o:p></o:p></div>
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In Black tie, corduroy and lace.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Masturbating in the mirror with his eyes closed,<o:p></o:p></div>
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And a pencil.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BIENVENUE.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-42716295026531893632012-08-29T14:27:00.000-07:002012-12-11T16:08:48.817-08:00Sweet ProphetWhen, in the dawning of the wholesome shift,<br />
& when we walk along the country road,<br />
Will you find yourself alone?<br />
<br />
Among me and the Magi-<br />
<br />
Oh, Moses of the modern midnight,<br />
Moses on the mount-<br />
Fear the destiny of freed man,<br />
Left in the hands of freed men.<br />
<br />
We- who walk through the pillared gates,<br />
More mauve than pearly white,<br />
Join hands with he creatures of habit,<br />
Those who have so aptly waited in vain-<br />
<br />
Oh, lost Israel in the hills of highway nine.<br />
<br />
Do not stand in the shadow of you,<br />
or Her.<br />
or Them, if they are in the mind of he who will not enter,<br />
and he who preaches and does not know.<br />
<br />
Tho-<br />
<br />
Sweet prophet.<br />
I urge you to go.<br />
And, in the crook of your arm, maintain the marks of our humble entwinement,<br />
and, walk the streets where we once found peace.<br />
Oh, Moses-<br />
wait with the sparrows where we will never go,<br />
in the Heavens we will never know.rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-66377779136626507622012-05-05T13:14:00.001-07:002012-05-05T13:14:55.919-07:00Fetishism of the Authentic<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Rocked to sleep by some ambient
noise, with a classic, indiscernible rhythm, his head sways and he falls back.
He allows his body to bounce a few volatile times on the cushions behind him,
he calls, “Princess…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
*</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
would have done it, too. A tiny shot in the crook of the arm and it’s like the
best sex you could ever imagine. If you are in real deep, I hear it’s even
better than that. The fast life moves slower than you’d think, and here we are.
Thinking- or waiting too passively to accomplish anything notable, but that’s
all we want- maybe one day the writing scrawled in a hurried hand on the
bathroom stall doors will make it to the main stage- scoring a spread in the
New Yorker, or some Canadian anarchist rag. I’ve always heard, “my word is my
bond,” but when will someone buy into that, or perhaps listen to me for once. A
leap of faith for the pedestrian.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
pedestrian- because when you think about it, that’s all the little ants are
that walk around carrying three times their own body weight to some mound of
dirt, set in succinct, fairly unreasonable lines of intent. Walking to work, to
the train, car or coffee shop. Staring at the screens and diverting gazes away
from fellow pedestrians, their peers. With all respect paid, they are our peers
and we ignore them. Bumping shoulders with a cringe. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
*</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>On
good days, we’re sitting on the stoop, with the people and the birds. They pick
at the scraps, feeding indiscriminately without a thought in their minds but to
consume enough to carry them through to the next day, the people and the birds.
No one notices the six of us, melting into the steps of someone else’s abode,
pretending our backs are flush against some primitive adobe structure, set in
some far away primitive mountain slant. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It
is a hot day and we wait, like everyone else. But, instead of passively moving
through nothing as the flowing lousy public does, we wait and watch the masses
move. Passive, perhaps in its own right, but with the crystalline beads of
sweat moving in swift streams from our hairline to the crested drip at our
chins, we productively conserve. Pretending we’re not suffering like everything
else in the heat of the day and in the responsibility for moving to then next
spot, to work, the car or the coffee shop. We don’t have enough money to buy a
glass of water, let alone a five-dollar coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a tin can in front of my feet that I have been
tapping without much vigilance for the past couple of hours, in a meager
attempt to get some lukewarm coinage from a tepid passerby, for the tepid
traveler I look like. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>James
and I had been walking for a couple of day before Cath, Kevin and Josh showed
up in the city. My place was down South Huntington, if you turn by the gas
station on route nine, but I haven’t paid the landlord bitch for a couple of
months. The charm my mother taught me, in the guise of politeness, seems to
only work when you don’t owe someone a couple thousand, so we split. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
Rose, a friend,
had asked the two of us to jump in on her business plan. Some art collective
they were starting down in Southie. They gutted one of the warehouses and came
across some blind funding to pump the meat into the socialist-cult-commune
artists’ residence Rose has been fighting for since her underappreciated stint
at Mass Art with my brother. I had been thinking about it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
We decided on the
streets that buzz with buses, the hum of some motorized bike, or the rhythmic
peddles of the hipsters’ horse. The paved carpets of the private turned public,
a new gallery display with whitewashed walls. I would call the exhibit; “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fluxus of Post-Modern Shit in Concrete</i>”
with no subjects but the omnipotent subjective data concerning the “real” us
with our “real” friends in “real” time. Little ants on little devices, all
moving in the opposite direction, going to the same nowhere place. That was my
proposal for Rose. She laughed at me, kindly I’m sure, and told me I was an
idealist. James and I decided to cop out and just join in later during an
opening for some free wine and cheese. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
*</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Someone
dropped a Dunkin Donuts gift card near a bus stop sometime before we stumbled
under the black metal overhang. That’s a paradox or something. We grabbed it
and ran with a little more paranoia in our step them was probably necessary,
given it was mid-afternoon and everyone looked sweaty and bored. It had been a
couple of days since we had had a cup of coffee and when your mouth waters in
anticipation for their corporate, slightly burned beans- you deserve a hot
chalice or two. There was enough on the card to get us all something to put in
our stomachs. Like every other day of our years, we sat and watched everyone
else go about what needed to get done. Against the John Hancock building, his
metal skeleton elegantly exposed with blackened, one-way mirror glass, making a
smooth heated backrest. Forty-two stories of business meetings and phone calls
to China. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
*</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
cats still living at my place were throwing a party. While the six of us sat in
a sort of authorial daze, with our own narration of the system in front of us,
sipping coffee in silence- I turned around and Pat, a cat, was sitting next to
James who was next to me. Without my prompting him, he spilled what was
sheltered in our monologues:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
“I can’t imagine
where we will end up.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
I kissed him in greeting on his
painted cheek. Cath passed him her last sips of coffee and asked about the
large cart parked beside us. Pat had just started his own “gallery” as he
proudly looked at the collection of ceramics, t-shirt designs and weirdly cut
canvases with his trademark, “The Forty and the Butt: a twist on the children’s
story,” painted on them. If you asked him what children’s story, he would just
wheel himself away because there was no children’s story- it was just a
soon-to-be sensation, so he says. We laughed, he didn’t. He handed Cath a cup
from the cart that she had gotten up to dote on, and invited us to the party.
“It’s your going away digs, Shan.” Smiling at me while he unlocked his cart’s
wheels.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
hadn’t intended on leaving. I loved our place, where the porch swung
arbitrarily in the slight wind would wave our way, and the kitchen had the
distinct stink of the compost by the back door. My cat was still there, and I
had heard from Kevin who had been crashing there before Cath and Josh showed
up, that Gerry the puss had somehow gotten a hold of Eliot’s favorite frog. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
I first met Eliot
in San Francisco, originally a friend of my brother’s from school. He was a
film student, quiet and painfully awkward and even though we had spent a week
together in one of the most exciting cities in America, whenever he looked at
me or brought himself to speak it looked as though he was on the verge of
puking. Sweat would bead on his temples in slow moving tension. His eyes would
redden and beg for mercy. Usually all he would urk out was a formal, “Hello,”
and he would regularly orbit around me, obeying the path of some anti-femme
force field. I mean, I guess, but we had been living together for the past four
years, having assumed my brothers room after he left for Alaska for a
fellowship and he decided to never come back. I had been fucking Pat at the
time, and it seemed appropriate. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
We decided to go
down South Huntington for the night and send ourselves off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Pat
greeted us at the front door when we rang. Naked. We were late for the party,
but he had put enough beers aside for us, knowing we’d show up. He always knew
I would come back. Four flights up and there were kids in a chaotic file,
passively trying to get in the door, to the fridge or the couch. Something-
they looked excited, enough. James leaned forward towards my ear, “Ants,” he
whispered and laughed. He pushed a baggie into my hand and put one in his
mouth. His was brown and mine was white. We’d been broke, together, for about a
year and half now. Not the melodramatic, adolescent broke- the adult broke.
Like if we had any assets, we would have filed for bankruptcy about nine months
ago. And he had a problem. I wasn’t supposed to support it, but damn, he’s a
big kid. He knew the reality of my situation, in the nineteen years I’ve been
on in this city, the nineteen years of life I’ve breathed any amount of air-
nineteen people I knew died of drug overdose, violence, or accidents-
respectfully. We played when we could, but with the last name on the list-
Hannah- I knew I couldn’t get back in that, too personal, too hard, too fast,
to hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, hey…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>*</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We
were rocked to sleep by this ambient noise. Its classic, indiscernible rhythm
taking James away from me- his head swaying and he falls back. He allows his
body to bounce a few volatile times on the cushions behind him, he calls,
“Princess…” There is a flame that dwindles, but remains lit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-45860529174667205392012-04-23T10:08:00.001-07:002012-04-23T10:08:09.782-07:00Ruler<style>
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<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">In the rapture of you, and
words and sound,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I have found something that
has been missing.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And in essence, your
presence has turned on what was lost,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And at what cost as we speak
of travesties and trivialities.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">In some dormant want, there
is music,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And there is joy.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Coming as only some boy, we
play.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And you understood before my
finger could lay claim,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">You knew before my I laid my
head down,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">That these were the last
words.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The Holy Ghost hath returned
in some juvenile moment of redemptive nothing.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And, I ask so naively for an
explanation to hold on to,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But is not heeded, not
needed or necessary.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We have reached some thing,
some personal salvation in the vain absence of you.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Of him.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Of this, and that nativity.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">An incessant ringing in my
ears, we have struck gold,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A life on hold, that which
has found the right.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">In awe I am of you.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Filing away in unconscious
need.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And throwing ourselves into
this, into demise so pure.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Hollowed eyes in the company
of few,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Too perfect to corrupt you.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Too much to allow you, we
have reached the breach of contract,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">In this inconsequential
contact,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Of eyes and hands and
hearts.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">An unreachable peak,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Something amasses from dirt-</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">From your hands that touch,
that grace.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">In that coherent thought, I
beg for that which I am not above.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">As the grace of this washes
over,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And over,</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And over.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">And over and over.</span></div>rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-23458929520228212112012-04-23T10:07:00.001-07:002012-04-23T10:07:41.073-07:00April Fools<style>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are but a projection of me,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As to say, one is gone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With some divine right, in exile from Eden,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We choose to write the words of back-washed relief.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In some simultaneous reflection of the naïve light through
cloud shot skies-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We move to the sound of a bell,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The call for the next original line.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And if by some projection of you,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On some white-washed wall,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We find some post-modern debt- paying forward our subject,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And counting our loses,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then, perhaps, in your worthy epilogue we find sense,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because ‘we’ is me, and ‘you’ never were.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On display, in the window by the bay,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We draw the maps, etched in plaster,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One road to another, from beginning to no end,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In one swift unconscious move towards a meeting point,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By an apple tree,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We see that there is no Me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The causality of the non-art no movement,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like the hole we fell down once-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To the place I want you in there with me and perhaps, in the
nude.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because the non-me chooses to revolt in the name of absence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am but some poorly constructed contour,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hung on the wall of your projection,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your on going film of glory and good intentions,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We find pedistals for the who needs both a home and a box,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Something transient, on the road that we mapped,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To the harbor, to Spain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And, we will run into the law abiding fantasy marked as
freedom,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Marketed to who?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Habitually buying the tickets to fortune.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Vying for fame, to make a name for yourself,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you can’t even recall that which you were given,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your name up in lights,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Headlining: POVERTY and the BLUE COLLAR MIDDLE CLASS.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We find ourselves symptoms.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-12964486554072274122012-04-23T10:06:00.001-07:002012-04-23T10:06:29.298-07:00Bed Stuy Free of Charge<style>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sitting while the
ladies walk and congeal into predetermined clusters of talk. Banter
back-and-forth with an old tinge of jazz and wrapped in rap, a modern imbalance
of nostalgia and real time. A perch like the pigeons, which allows for the
violation of some common understanding, urging one not to stare nor inquire-
seated and defiant in a shameless guise- but only a white girl from the Boston
sub-urban sector in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn. Immobile in an alien world, ass
imprinted with a seven-minute cigarette break on the grated escape. </div>
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Two stories up the
white cinder-block building, aged with something akin to the beach-chair crew-
an elderly collective of eight regulars, the dark, male senior participants who
rest daily in their beach recliners playing with vices, hounds as they name <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">themselves,</i> parked at the base of the
building on Throop. Wrinkled, beer stained and darker with age, made simply
more beautiful by virtue of interest- both building and man, some edifying paradigm
of the urban design. A rot-iron pedestal, rusting and probably ineffective at
this point, a structure with intent to save lives, or used to drop your trash
into the miniscule and already cracked trash-cans below- some gravity promoted
basketball variation. It is the escape from a stuffy apartment when Matt is
cooking chicken as though he were on television, or Josh is writing and needs
peace, or when the guest needs a cigarette to reflect. It is an excuse to mask
the Brooklyn o-zone and mistake it for fresh air, and it is an excuse to stare
at the habitat so foreign to a suburban visitor- or a child whose ignorance’s
are immediately displayed and marked on her forehead, intensified with every
expression of inquiry. </div>
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**</div>
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Seated on the
C-line en route to the apartment from Manhattan with a backpack and a sleeping
bag in tow, a visitor waits apprehensively for the Kingston-Throop stop, never
quite sure whether if she took the right train. Eyes wander, but this is not
the Boston she grew up with, it is New York and eye contact is more of a violation
than a passive interaction and the unspoken rule says, “back the fuck off,” and
aggressively returns glares. It is not an assumption, or a grand exaggeration
of the truth from the perspective of a foreigner, or the Bostonian- this is the
reality, because she will keep doing it unintentionally until someone barks.
Saved by the bell and the stop is announced, the train moves to a halt and
everyone waiting files off. </div>
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Street level and
things are weird. It is ten o’clock p.m. and there are taxis that look like cop
cars wait on corners where groups of people gather and exchange hands,
cigarettes or looks. The visitor stops to light a cigarette and makes a phone
call to her destination, they tell her to not walk on the left side of Throop
on the way down to the apartment. Saturday Night Fever blasts the bass from
‘souped’ up tin-can cars and fuzz alarms scream, careening around corners to
attend to something. As she walks, condoms are dropped on the sidewalk to make
a bread crumb trail to any door on the block and voices from dark stoops ask
for a butt, or a light, or some warm coinage from the pockets of a poor college
student- impoverished compared to what, and she feels the slap on her own hand.</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was never Kansas, but where ever we
are is not Manhattan, it is not Boston, or Needham, or a cozy campus in Western
Massachusetts. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
A block away from
the mock-marble apartment building, a corner store advertises basic junk food,
cigarettes, and eggs. The foreigner goes inside and puts her dinner on the
counter. The cashier laughs while he is ringing up a buck fifty, “You just move
here, girl?” Laughter from both parties- but, no, just visiting friends.
Laughter from his side, because she is serious, “Yeah, I thought so. Sweetness,
you should run on home-“ Handing over the bag of chips, the door, the night and
the absence of the overly grimy florescent lighting of the shop swallowed the ‘Sweetness’
into the streets of an unknown walk. A nighttime world of a neighborhood
tainted by movie scenes of gang boys with their cuts and colors and painted
street-crawlers. Whether or not this is a reality, the apartment sounded ideal,
and she heeded the clerk’s advice as best she could- Boston was a far way away.
</div>
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Five-fifty Throop
Street is not much of a ‘hood’ by cliché definition, but for the visitor’s
hosts, this was a far cry from the Jewish haven of the Greater Boston suburbs. A
place rich in mural graffiti art, a Biggie memorial down the way, and a series
of cracked out neighbors. It is a place for rich observation for those who hail
from out of town, but it is a realm in which one does not poke their oblivious
and curious heads into other peoples’ business. Staring is not caring, and it
should be assumed that the bark not worse than the bite, the assumption should
always be equivalence and curiosity will kill the cat who looses his head. </div>
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But there is a
place where the view is removed enough to go unnoticed, a respite amidst the
chaotic world inside a cramped, low-rent apartment and the sidewalk life. The
fire escape, only a window lift and curtain shift away. Cold and rusted and
intimate, black and blue to such a point that it blends into the nighttime, the
smoky air. The fire escape, where seven minutes of burning time allows for the
perpetuation of some romantic and grungy view of the city, the neighborhood, our
lives- allowing such a screen for the display of the literal ebbs and flows of
the human behavior. The nighttime is unsolved, it is intensified and loud- fast
paced and hazy with cars moving too fast and dominated by the male element. We
hear stories that ward of gentrification and paint an awful picture, however
filled with life the moment may really be; but in the opposing twelve hours- in
the daylight, so familiar and charming, women collect with their children after
church on the Sunday morning stoop steps, dog walkers and shop keepers welcome
the business day or some glaring city sun. The sound is different, the light,
the time and the voice are different and from the looming catwalk of ethereal
power, or maybe more humbly a sanctuary for the foreigner, the lonely, the view
of the real-life ‘show’ is the most beautiful performance in New York. Free of
charge. Protected from the previously established and unalterable notions we
have- she had- safe from the shit and the ash and the hazardous bikes on the
sidewalks, there is a trip to be had in being the voyeur. An unadulterated joy
in peeking in on the everything, anonymously- the escape is the perpetuation of
all urban attributes, and it ignites something in the self-alienated foreigner.
It ignites something in the feel of the borough, the neighborhood, the
community and there is emotion, and there is sight beyond that which we keep to
ourselves on the subway. </div>
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**</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
The same clerk
walks back to his apartment while the visitor smokes with one of her hosts a
couple of stories up. By chance, while several cars pass and other pedestrians
knock shoulders, he looks up and looks until he recognizes her face. He laughs,
nods and proceeds, shaking his head while he walks, well aware of the fact that
the three of them had shared a rare moment of the mutual violation of an
intimate look in. One, a man in meditation following a day of hard work, on his
feet and ringing up useless and seemingly essential trinkets of processed crap.
The other, a long separated pair of friends, reconnecting in their private
space, hanging above the most public of streets- but eyes met, the moment was
enjoyed and the example was set. This was the perch of a passive observer, for
the creative mind too interested in everyone else’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
In the morning,
the one-night veteran meets the clerk at the corner store to buy pancake mix
and a carton of eggs. He chuckles and calls her champ as she recounts watching
the across the street neighbor from the fire escape putting a cat in a trash
can, which he promptly brought back into his apartment building. He says he’s
seen if before and raps an eloquent anecdote about him and his baby daughter
during their nightly moments of fresh air, together, on their fire escape. Him,
holding her, cherishing her and simultaneously watching a series of cop cars
running after a fleeing buddy, or watching subtle narcotic exchanges from the
limbs of a concrete tree, or singing her to sleep while the homeless jazz-rat
plays his saxophone on the streets below when he thinks no one else is
listening. Nothing but a jovial look and tears in his eyes, the clerk sends her
off, back to her perch, telling her to enjoy the idea of being above violation
or fear, suspended above the crime or the nightly vexations and temptations.
“Run on home, girl, Boston misses you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653932409604710905.post-8662104990102091912011-11-10T00:05:00.001-08:002011-11-10T00:08:20.765-08:00Bricks Laid<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at your hands, see what they’ve done,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at the wall, see what you’ve made.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at their faces and see what they don’t understand.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Benign confusion.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Liberation, </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Containment, and rhyme.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">We become the paradigm. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at your hands, see what they’ve done,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at the wall, see what you’ve made.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at their faces and see what they see.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">An ambiguous game,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">With no real aim, but for fame.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at your hands, see what they’ve done,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at your wall, see what you’ve made.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at their faces and see how they run.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">We’re broke,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">And all we needed was a smoke.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at your hands, see what they’ve done,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at your wall, see what you’ve made.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at their faces and see how they learn.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Allow me to play,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Because I've never really had anything to say.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at your hands, see what they’ve done,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at your wall, see what you’ve made.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Look at their faces and see how they think.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Take note of where we’re at</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">There is no such thing as a dirty rat- so scat.</span></p> <!--EndFragment-->rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11974689875212798969noreply@blogger.com0